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someone came up to me today and called me a bitch. not in a rude, aggressive way, but just simply a bitch. He told me it was different from the other girls and he appreciated it. I felt no offense.
I find it refreshing when people tell me these things. I don't want to hear how sweet I am, or how generous, or even how much I care about people. The way I see it, I don't want to be those things. I don't want to be the girl that always makes people feel good. or the girl that can look you right in the eye and tell you she cares about you when in fact, she couldn't and wouldn't give a fuck. I do not care to please you. I am who I am and in all honesty, I'm my biggest fan.
As Karl Jung once said, beware of the Persona; you might believe you are what you pretend to be. I can not begin to tell you how many times I have seen someone think they are what they imagine themselves to be. And, I'll admit it, there have been times that I've asked myself the very same question; "Am i who I am or am i who i pretend to be?" And on those days, i give myself a little thought experiment, put myself up on the docket. If there's one thing those experiments have shown me, it's that my real self defines my limits, not the other way around. I don't set guidelines to what i want to be, who i want to please, and what impression i want to give out; instead, I've come to the ultimate conclusion that no matter how i act, i can never change my true nature. I will always be what i am and rather than trying to squeeze between the tiny lines of societal norm, I have learned to analyze myself on a whole different stage and realize that I'm not perfect and i need to set my own rules to my behaviour.
Yes, I'll admit it. I'm part-bitch. If i don't like you, you cannot convince me to. I have taken enough stepping on for a lifetime, trust me. But there's a difference between me and a real bitch. Real bitches hate first, then you must convince them to like you. Me, i start off with all the love I can give you, no matter who you are, no matter what I've heard about you. With me, you always start fresh.
Another thing, i take things at face value. I don't dwell, I don't fish around trying to get things out. If you say you're okay with me talking to him, I'll talk to him. don't deal me your "You should've known what i meant" bullshit. And i guess that's partly why i am the way i am. So i can't completely hate you people. If I'm a bitch because I tell you things the way I see it, then i'm proud of myself.

No one is reading this probably. Hardly anyone even knows who I am. And if they do, they know im not a bitter person. If they really know me, they know I'm the happiest girl around. I still am, and always will be. I do believe life is too short to get permanent frown lines. But I'm not naive anymore.
People say ignorance is bliss.
i say
bullshit.