A hectic weekend overview

Every time I party, I feel like crap. It's less of a 'I'm so hungover' thing and more of a 'ugh how unproductive' thing. There's something seriously wrong with the way my id and super ego deal with their conflicts. Part of me wants to be able to party once every few months but the other part of me hates it. I guess my options are limited between getting bored at home doing assignments or feeling like shit after a hectic weekend.

At first I thought my issues were limited to alcohol and the likes. Turns out it's any alteration of thought processes, even something like the crowd I'm with. I only seem to be in my zone when I'm with a select few, doing a select few. For someone that's considered so friendly (which I truly am) and so low-maintenance (I'm almost always down to do anything at any time), it's really annoying how I only seem to enjoy myself with a handful of people.

I've tried analyzing what puts me off in certain situations and I think I got it; judgemental people. I can't stand judgmental people. This pet-peeve would be easy to overcome if I developed the balls to call them out on it. Just a simple "hey, who the fuck cares how she dances? Give it a rest and let her do her thing". Unfortunately, I don't have it in me to be aggressive in any way. I'm too fucking laid-back and not confrontational enough.

Either way, the point is I have to be a little more careful who I choose to spend such weekends with. Though it will take a lot for me to blatantly stop enjoying someone's company, it takes very little for me to place them in a category that is simply "small doses only". I know a lot of people who are very different from me, yet can appreciate and accept other people's differences. I'm not looking for a group of friends that are identical to my thoughts and mimic my morals. I am simply looking to find good friends who can look past the minor disagreements and learn to enjoy themselves regardless of whether the day turns out exactly as they planned or not.

Turns out it's a lot harder than it looks since i can reflect back to my entire life and count the people on this list on the fingers on my 2 hands.